I finish work fairly late at the office on Fridays, afterwards I met with my editor and had a quick chat. Then, all I wanted was to get home and watch some stupid TV show. The following happened between 9pm and 9.30pm on a Friday night.
I get into the train home, wearing my usual tshirt, skirt, sneakers, backpack combo and listening to music on my pink phone. Two men in their 30s sit opposite me and start talking to me, asking me private questions (like if I have a boyfriend etc) right away. I politely say “I would just like to listen to my music, sorry”- they call me a “disgusting bitch” and go sit somewhere else.
On my way out of the train I have to walk through a short underpass, there were not many people there. A group of guys in their 20s pass me by and talk among themselves saying “oh look at that hot slut (loses a bit in translation)” and then discuss briefly but in detail how I would be in the sack.
When leaving the train station, I walk towards the busstop to catch the bus home. I hear a guy behind me say “hey baby” multiple times, I hoped he was on the phone but nah. I sit down, he sits very close to me and also starts telling me “baby, you are so beautiful, I know you from somewhere, I need a girlfriend, do you live close by baby” and whatever else. This went on for a bit longer as I could not really go anywhere.
Long story short. This is not OK!!! At first, I thought to myself that this was the reason I don’t like to go out, as the intelligence-level of these conversations does not get higher after a few drinks. But now, thinking back, this shit happens anyway.
It is not OK that it is socially unacceptable for me as a woman to do anything else than put my headphones on and walk away, otherwise I have to fear what you asshole might do to me or best case scenario, you would just yell more abuse at me.
It is also not OK that I felt the need to describe my clothing or the time of day at the beginning of this post, as if that shit would be OK anywhere at any time.
It is not OK that while I try to build my character and educate myself to become a strong and good person, you talk about me as if I was not even a person. Suddenly, my ability to get home from work in peace, to occupy space and just …be, depends on your whim of showing off to your friends what kind of a man you are (or why ever these things happen).
And it is not OK that you don’t show me the same respect every single human being deserves!
Most of the time I just try to forget whenever something like this happens because…well..it is nothing special, most people, especially women, experience this soooo often. BUT these are not compliments or insults, what these guys said and did tonight, even if I repeat myself a thousand times, was just not OK.
Just a usual Friday night?
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